Monday Morning Matrimony: Money Talks

Two weeks ago on Monday Morning Matrimony, we discussed the importance of premarital counseling. One of the most important things I got from our counseling sessions was the importance of talking about money. I only wish we would have applied all that advice back then, but alas sometimes you must "learn things the hard way".

Dustin & I were taught different things about money, but in truth I don't believe either of us were taught near enough. That's not a bash to our families but to society as a whole. It is commonplace to be living a life you truly can't afford - to be swimming in debt, holding your breath, waiting for the big life saver to come around. There are so many great things I would like to use this blog to tell you, so many things I myself have yet to truly learn. But out of all these things the most important thing is this: COMMUNICATION! You & your spouse need to talk openly about money because money will be talking to you!

I am about to share something very personal with you in hopes it helps you avoid a similar mistake. In our family, I am the one that handles the books, primarily because I am the business owner and already handle the business books, so it all runs together. During the past few years, we have had our financial "ups and downs" and a few years ago, there were times when I would just not share with Dustin how bad the "down" was. He was trying to find a job and I didn't want him to feel worse, so I kept it to myself. In the end, it caused me to resent him and caused me to feel all alone with my burden. Dustin knows about this and how it effected us and we have long moved on. But it was a very difficult challenge that newlyweds shouldn't have to go through. I made a mistake because I was ill-equipped with how finances work and how to handle them. I thought "it will be so much better next month that he doesn't need to know about this month". But the next month was worse. (bills have a tendency to snowball - it's up to you how that snowball goes) Now, I know that sharing the "downs" means I have someone else to bounce ideas off of. The other important part of that is that Dustin needs to be interested in it. Finances on a regular basis don't seem exciting. A Budget is anything but fun. But the end result of financial freedom will be enjoyed by both, so it's only fair that you share the whole journey together. So no matter how difficult it is... no matter if you went out and overspent the credit card... TALK. We all make mistakes, especially with money. Don't let those mistakes put up a wall between you and your spouse. The top 2 reasons for divorce are Financial Problems and Communication issues - tie these 2 together and you're just setting yourself up for trouble. I want our financial future to be amazing, so we need to set up a great foundation.

So now that you know my personal story of what I've learned, here are some tips for newlyweds (and engaged couples) to pave the way for their financial future.

1) Check your credit report. This can be a scary thing and again - not fun. But you'll be surprised at what you might find and you can use this to clean it up and prepare for a house. Get a credit report that shows you the reports for all 3 credit reporting agencies. Our personal preference is www.equifax.com

2) Set aside an emergency fund. We all have surprises in life. Why let a surprise change your course? The recommended minimum for an emergency fund is $1000. But every little bit helps!

3) Pay down debt. I wanted to pay off the highest interest debt first, but I now realize the importance in starting with the smaller debts - it really does work like a snowball. Also - if you are having a hard time paying credit cards, call the card companies. They will often settle for 50% or LESS of what you owe. Many credit companies are in major trouble these days and are more than happy to work out a settlement with you. I suggested this to a friend and she now has all her cards paid off! DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK! Don't let pride get in the way either. Start over, learn from your mistakes and move on. Also, it shows as a paid debt on your credit report so you come out looking much better than someone who pays late or is holding large debts.

4) BUDGET. Make a list of what all is coming in and what all is going out. You may be surprised to see what your fiance really makes / spends. And vice-versa. We tend to live with our heads in the sand, but learning where you are helps you get to where you need to be. Make a budget and learn to live like a king! Wisdom is power!

5) Wait before you buy. Oh, how I can attest to this. Sometimes it seems like we just HAVE to have something now. And it's not always as silly as a new dress. Sometimes we think we must get a newer car because our mechanic says we need $2500 repair on our current car. Well, first of all - get a second opinion. Secondly, think it over long and hard. If it really is going to be $2500, how much is your car worth? Also, how much do you owe? How much would you have to spend on a replacement car. Take ALL of these things into consideration. Do your research and sleep on it. Recently, my printer died and I thought I had to buy an exact replacement immediately. I looked up a comparable replacement and it was going to cost $500 (the original printer was $550) I decided to sleep on it and save my money. After taking emotion out of it, I ended up finding what I needed for $150. But then I did more research and found it on sale online (for new) with a warranty for $103 (after shipping). Trust me. AT LEAST give yourself the 48 hour rule. You will survive without a printer (it's not easy, but possible). You will survive carpooling to work. You will survive. I'm not saying there aren't emergencies, but if they are no life-threatening... be creative and don't let your situation dictate your bank account.

6) Daydream about retirement NOW. I know it may seem crazy and so far away, but if you can think of that as the ultimate goal now, it will change how you make your decisions. For instance, I want to retire by 50, so that would set me on a course for the next 17 years instead of 33. It also gets you thinking about IRAs and smart investing. It is not too early to think about those things.

7) DAVE RAMSEY. I could have simply said "Seek financial counseling" but this simple name seemed appropriate. You may not agree with everything he says, but he knows what he is talking about. He has changed so many peoples' lives. I encourage you to at least read his book "Financial Peace University". Read it together (or at the same time). Get on the "same page" with the idea of financial freedom!

Check out more great tips at www.daveramsey.com

8) And don't forget my tip: COMMUNICATE!!! It's never as bad as you think it is. There is always a new day tomorrow and you can help dictate what that day looks like... together.

Become a Long With Me - Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget!

You plan your perfect wedding day and you anxiously await for it to get here. Some have a short engagement, and others, like myself, have a long engagement (2 years.) After you wait all this time, you go to your dream vacation spot to start your new life as husband and wife. So how do you pick that "perfect" spot?

My solution was to leave it up to Dean. HA! I Since I am planning the wedding and he has taken a typical male approach of "it's your day...do whatever you want," I figured I could give him one wedding task. The only thing that I told him was that I wanted to get a couple's massage.

So what did he come up with? The winner is...

The Sandals Regency St. Lucia! I never really thought to pick the Caribbean, but St. Lucia is absolutely beautiful! It is an all inclusive resort and the room we're staying in comes with 24/7 butler service (which was the selling point for Dean.) We can even do a honeymoon registry and guests can contribute to additional activities at  Sandals Honeymoon Registry

I was amazed at the price of the all-inclusive resorts at Sandals...definitely the most cost-friendly for our budget!

In planning the wedding myself, I've come to realize that you don't have to cut corners when you're on a budget.If you have the patience, diy projects can save you a ton on money, while giving your wedding a personal touch. With less than 4 months until the wedding, I figured my diy projects need to start NOW! Every week, I'll show you how I've managed to get exactly what I want, while being budget-friendly.

My diy project for this week is the wedding bubbles. I needed about 175 bubbles, and my best price option was at Walmart. For a 100 pack of bubbles, it cost me $15, so $30 for 2 packs. This is the before:

I simply took a piece of black ribbon and a piece of Tiffany blue ribbon together and made a bow. 8 packs of each color ribbon @ $.99 each at Michael's (on sale,) we have this:

 Lastly, my deal of the day. I've been ordering a lot of things off of eBay, and this is my latest purchase...the flower girl's dress. I was a little apprehensive because the price was so cheap and it was shipping from China, but once I received it (in a very tiny bag,) all of my worries were at ease! Here is where it looks like on:

I am in love with this dress! I haven't seen anything like it and I LOVE the ruffled neckline. I plan on replacing the white applique flower in the middle with a black flower (since the bridesmaids are wearing black.) The cost of the dress is as follows: $5.99 for the dress and $15.99 for shipping, totaling $21.98.

Just remember, you can find great deals without your purchases looking cheap. It's like they say, "Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget." Speaking of great deals, check in with me next week to see if I found a great deal on the next thing on my agenda...the rehearsal dinner venue!

Get Relish - not your normal wedding invitations!

In the wedding industry, we have noticed that people always ask "What makes you different than XYZ Company?" With Relish, this is an easy question for us to answer, but it's a multi-part answer...

1) What makes Relish different than other Nashville wedding invitation companies?


Relish is a national online-only company. We are the only national invitation company currently based in Nashville, Tennessee. The good news for our local brides is that you can see us in local shops and some bridal shows and meet with us in person at times when the rest of the nation cannot. You can get sneak previews into some of our upcoming releases that the rest of the nation may not get to see. Because we are national, we are plugged in to trends all across the country and can get you fresh perspectives on a regular basis. Also - just as we our different from most national invitation companies with how our products work, we are different from all those in Nashville as well. The only downside shares our upside - we are an online company and do not have a storefront for you to come in and meet with us and get that one-on-one experience.

2) PRICE:
Customized invitations for a more much more affordable price!
Because we are an online-only business, we are able to keep our costs down that are often incurred by either owning a store or by having reps who go to meet clients individually. We are able to give you a custom experience without the custom price tag. With our experience in printing, we are able to pass on the best printing prices to you and keep the costs lower!

3) QUALITY:
Again, with our lengthy experience in the printing world, we are able to find the best printing methods and are constantly checking to make sure we are offering you both the best price but also for the best quality out there. We currently print all our invitations on 16pt matte stock - which is the best in the industry. We print our invitations on true offset printing presses. That means that they are printed in the best method possible to insure color & print consistency. Most companies use "digital printing presses" which are very elaborate copy machines. We admit that in the beginning we chose that route but as we were able to work out better deals with printing companies, we were able to switch in order to give our customers the BEST in printing and in our paper stock! You will love the look and feel of our invitations!

4) COLOR:



Have you noticed that Relish LOVES color?! If you want something more traditional or simple, we have made sure to include those options as well. However, our passion is COLOR! We love it and love all the unique creations you can get by combining colors. We were tired of the "books" with all the standard invitation orders... we wanted it to be another area of expression for your special day.

5) OUR EXPERIENCE:
Our staff is comprised of people with years of graphics and printing experience. We also have some of the best computer programmers in the country on staff. We have some of the most talented artists working to create new, original products for our customers all the time! We strive to have both unique products (we own the rights to all our designs) and the best, user-friendly software (our developers are constantly working on improvements). We are a growing company and therefore continue to seek out new ideas and feedback and then make improvements based on those assessments.

6) YOUR EXPERIENCE:



This is truly what people notice about Relish - the experience! Our customers get to come on to our website at their convenience, at any time of day and work on their custom-designed invitation package. You get to be the real designer with Relish. There are a couple companies that offer the "you design it experience". We take it a step further. With all of color options (especially with our new custom color matching!); our layering options; our embellishment options; topped off with our envelope & seal selections - you are guaranteed a completely custom invitation package (no 2 have ever been the same!). You are also able to see the invitation in real time as you build it! If you change your mind, you can always start over with a simple click of the button! We have customers (including many prospective grooms) tell us they are on our site for hours playing and daydreaming. We are so happy to hear that, because that was our vision - to offer you a playground for this part of your wedding planning, a place where you can be the designer!

7) GROWTH:
As we mentioned, we are a growing company. It has been a long process to create this database of options for you to work with. Now that we have the basis, we are constantly working on new designs for the iBuilder as well as new unique "exclusive lines" of invitations. Our desire is to keep growing and expanding our options for our customers... forever!

Here are some things you will see from Relish for more custom options in the next year: Thermography / Letterpress options; Foil; and a Photo invitation iBuilder! So keep checking back to see why we are very different from the other invitation companies and why you should GET RELISH!


[Example of Photo iBuilder invite]

Money-Saving Stationery Tips

At Relish, we understand that the economy is effecting a lot of people, including brides. We wanted to offer you a list of ways to cut your budget for stationery!

1) Postage! This is one area many brides don't consider until it's time to stamp & send their wonderful invitation packages. If you are not aware of what you are going to be paying, it can be a huge additional expense you were not expecting.



HOW TO SAVE:
A - Choose a Basic Shape / Size. While we LOVE Square, it will cost you extra in postage. Go with a more traditional "Classic" Shape or the trendy "Horizon / Slim"
B - 86 the embellishments. We LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOOVE embellishments! That's at the heart of Relish! However, we recommend to our customers to have their invitations manually stamped if they have embellishments. This is so that the embellishments aren't crushed or pushed through the envelope in those automatic postage processing machines. If you want your invitations beautiful, but also want to save money, stick with either an "Imprint" or a "Cutout" and leave off the popular "Stones" Or "Ribbons".
C - Keep it simple. Make RSVP Cards to send as postcards (which is our default), which will save on postage AND weight in the invitation package by eliminating the RSVP envelope. Also, don't send direction cards or menus. Just keep the package simple to save on weight.
* For more information about postage, we will be doing a full blog on this on Friday!

2) Skip the traditional Save-the-Dates
Save-the-Dates were originally intended for people getting married with lots of family out-of-state so they could give them plenty notice to take off work and book hotel rooms, etc. If most of your guests are in-town, there is no real need to send save-the-dates (except that you are so excited to let everyone know you are engaged!)



HOW TO SAVE:
A - Send out digital save-the-dates. Try evite.com
B - Send out a video / slideshow announcing your engagement. This is a super cute alternative to a save-the-date. Make a video yourself and post on You Tube. Or download a slideshow creator like the one at Amara.
C - Get a smaller quantity of Save-the-Date cards. And ONLY send to those out-of-town guests. See our selection here: Relish Save-the-Dates

3) Wedding Programs
HOW TO SAVE:
A - Cut the quantity down. Only hand them out one per family and even consider skipping a quantity for bridal party. Most people like these to be keep-sakes, but we're sure you're taking care of your bridal party with gifts anyway!
B - Do your own wedding programs using a wedding program template, like the ones here: www.weddingprogramsfast.com
The only downfall to this is that you are limited on Cuteness and for those less experience in graphic design, it can take a long time and lead to frustration. If you are already short on time (or patience), it may be worth it to pay someone. However, if you have the time & creative juices, give it a try. The worst that can happen is you don't like your creation and then you can come back for some super cute Relish programs!



4) Cut some of the details.
HOW TO SAVE:
A - Table Placement #s and Cards. This will not only save you on cost, but on time. Instead, have a friend or two act as "hostess" and have them seat guests. It gives guests a quality experience by being seated. You can get as detailed by giving the hostesses a seating chart with names or you can just let them make it work out the best they can the day of. I've been to a hostess wedding and it worked very nicely - it felt like something was added instead of taken away!
B - Thank You Cards. Do these as postcards instead of note cards. This will save on postage yet again. Relish does not offer these at this time, but check back! :)
C - Napkins. We have to be honest. We really don't like custom napkins.



Seriously. We apologize if this is against the norm - they just seem like an old trend. Maybe that's because there aren't any super-cute trendy napkins. In the end though, for me personally, it has always seemed like a waste of money. And there is just something about Uncle Barry wiping his mouth (or his nose) with my name or with a photo of me that just doesn't sit well.
C - Confetti and other cute details. Look, we know that the monogrammed confetti and the monogram on the dance floor are awesome. Seriously - we understand more than anyone how awesome it is to coordinate all of this stuff. But in the end, does anyone else really notice? Is it going to make a difference in your day? Cut some of those things that seem like little extra expense and see how they start to add up in big savings!

5) Order in bulk! Most stationers will work with you to get you a better price if you are ordering a lot of different stationery items from them. At Relish, you get a coupon / discount offer with every order you place for a future order. However, if you call your stationer like Relish, we will work with you to get you a better bulk price upfront if you want to order everything at once. This should also save you on Shipping & Handling fees to order everything at once!

Just remember a couple things.
1 - You get what you pay for (or don't pay for)
2 - It's your day - budget for what is important to YOU! If you LOVE paper (like we do) then it may be more important to you to have this over certain dinner options or a special videographer. Set priorities as to what matters most to you and THEN set your budget accordingly. Don't go by the wedding standards - set your own and then start shopping! And remember to enjoy the journey!